I am so pleased with how it has turned out in the end and I am looking forward to starting the final piece.
Some of the features in my rough edit, are going to be completely different in my final piece, however I wanted to give you a rough idea of what was going to happen. For example, the opening title sequence will be all animated by James Corker and I will involve envelopes and packages flying around a black background with red writing, however the position of the text and also the font will be different, as they will be done in after effects, rather than iMovie.
I was unable to place some of the titles where I wanted to in the rough edit, as iMovie only has set templates for the text, however this will be all ok when it is done in the final piece. The reason I placed them where I did for my rough edit, is because Casino Royale has them in roughly the same place and I wanted replicate my research within my film.
After re-watching my rough edit, the sound needs to be worked on, however I didn't make it perfect for the rough edit, as the footage may change. The effects all need to be improved as some "stingers" adding the suspence start in slightly the wrong place etc, however I wanted to give you an idea of how it'll sound. Also, different bits of footage have the sound louder or quieter, however that will all be sorted during the final piece edit.
Also, for the opening title sequence, I had to change some of the names for the rough edit, as the font and size that I wanted wouldn't allow me to have some of the names all on one line, however this won't be the case during the final piece.
After watching Casino Royale, the whole opening sequence is done in black and white and as some of my footage is grainy, due to the light, I may decide to change my opening to all black and white for the final thing.
For the sound effects, I found a great 'slamming metal lid' sound effect in iMovie, to use for the gun dropping on the floor. I have also found a great website that had some sound effects on and that was - http://soundbible.com/1789-Loud-Bang.html - This is where I got the gun shot from and I think it works extremely well.
The short titles last for 3 seconds and the titles with more than one name last for 4 seconds, allowing the audience to read the titles and take them in.
There are a few continuity errors, however they will be sorted.
NOW...all I need to do is write my opening sequence song and get it recorded with Paul Soler. I have included 'Diamonds' by Rihanna for my song in the rough edit, as I am hoping to achieve the same tone for the my opening song.
The opening title sequence lasts for 1:29, so I will let James know and we can work on our opening title sequence from their.
I hope you like my rough edit and I'd really appreciate feedback - thanks!
This is a pretty good first effort. You've identified a number of areas which need improvement, which is good. I've offered some suggestions below. Make sure you get other people to comment (both with praise and suggestions!)
ReplyDelete0:21 - I like the b&w credits. You might want to ramp the contrast a little to make them look more "noir"
0:29 - You break the 180 degree rule on the first edit...
0:31 - The use of the long shot is a little odd here - you need to hold on it a little longer or remove it all together, as it's a little jarring
0:58 - The transition into the colour sequence is a little odd. I would suggest that you begin with an ES of MI6, and open with the interview, then edit in the "where's the package" sequence, or save it until the end (I know you want to replicate Casino Royale, but it's not really working). Also, you're going to end up with a very long take (the pan) with no edits and a rather odd opening scene
1:10 - The fade here makes no real sense, since it appears that the character is carrying on the same speech. You should cut away to a reaction shot or something in order to cover the movement from standing to sitting. During this sequence, you might also want to think about using some incidental music to build atmosphere
1:30 - The montage works quite well, but you may need to equalise the voice-over (it changes volume at certain times) or re-record (see below). As suggested above, some incidental music would help here, to build tension
1:50 - The "Thundersteel" section probably needs to be a little more desaturated, to match it to the other ones
2:01 - You need to hold the shot of the feet for a bit longer - you edit away too soon
2:18 - You should hold the sound of the smash a bit longer. Not sure about the fade through black here - might be a better transition you can use
3:00 - Your use of diegetic sound is a little patchy (for example, in the Mrs Fangtastic sequence, we hear the van driving away but don't hear the door slam)
3:12 - The pan here looks a little ropey
3:24 - The audio after the line about "it wasn't me" and "the canal" is cut off a little too quickly - you lose the echo
3:30 - Some of the edits here are a tad too fast (particularly after "am I free to go?"
3:31 - You might want to slightly tone down and tighten up the fx of the gun hitting the floor - it's a little too "solid"
3:46 - You will need to put MGM and Columbia in the credits somewhere. The credits themselves are fine in terms of content
The most radical thing I'm going to suggest that you do is, if you can, re-record the interview in somewhere that looks more like an office (for sake of mise-en-scene as much as anything, since you've gone to so much effort with your other locations). Other reasons for this are that it's very dark; the audio is too quiet (you should probably record the narration separately, with the actress close to the mike); you've got some dodgy camera movement and not enough C/Us (particularly on your Bond and M characters - you generally pitch for MS). I would lose the camera movement, actually, and try to find a more varied range of static shots. You could certainly do with an ES. Another issue is, although I know it's probably not deliberate, it looks like the M-character is reading from her script (I know it's supposed to be a list of villains, but surely she'd use a tablet or a laptop?)
On the plus side, your montage sequences work well in terms of range of shots/ edits and you've acheieved a degree of generic verisimilitude (particularly the transition into the titles). At the moment (without finished titles and the rough edits), were you to submit this as it is, I would place it around mid-upper L3 (roughly low B-grade) since although there is some good technical work there, it's a little rough around the edges, as you've identified. This is not a bad first edit, though - usually they come in a lot lower.
Wow, haha, thank you very much for the time and effort you have spent looking at my rough edit! I know there is a lot of things to sort - I have made notes on your feedback and I will certainly do everything I can.
ReplyDeleteI will come and talk to you later as I am unsure on a few parts of your feedback, but thank you!
i really enjoyed the entire intro and being only a rough edit i can imagine it only getting better! however there are a few little things that i think would be better improved.
ReplyDelete1) i think if the opening credits were in colour then faded into the B&W it would make the movie have that modern feel that turns to unknown and mystery for the bathroom scene
2) the fonts (and colour) of the names of the characters could be changed to represent the characters
3) i agree with the first comment, the interview scene would be better filmed in an office environment with files, add a computer and maybe get the character Jo to wear a suit to make it feel more professional
Everything else i thought works great together, i especially like the end with the effects and the amount of information we gain which builds our knowledge up but still leaves a little to be discovered. I can't wait to see what the finished product turns out like!
Thank you very much Andrew! I really appreciate your feedback, pleased you like it.
ReplyDeleteI will most certainly take your comments into consideration during the final edit.
Thanks again,
Kathryn :)